This is just a reminder for myself, for the darker days: I can feel happy. I can find joy in life. Hell, I can even smile and then take a picture of that. I didnt have to focus on anything, it just started to become the new normal since I woke up today.

It doesn’t take much, but I think these factors are key:

Proper bicycling infrastructure

If riding a bicycle involves stress because you have to deal with asshole car drivers, that reduces the amount of glee I get from riding a bike. In Copenhagen, I didnt even have to focus on traffic, because it follows a natural rhythm. Everyone gives a sign when theyre about to stop or turn. Everyone takes of the others. And old lady had a flat, a hipster guy with funny hair stopped and started to fix it. Motorists are really careful around bicycles. I havent seen anyone try to prove their masculinity by speeding their sports car in a crowded area. I guess thats you get when almost everyone has a bicycle and feels comfortable riding it in the city. The increased fines for traffic violations since 2012 may have had an effect as well.


The sun is pretty important. I think I’ll just have to accept that I require a certain amount of sunlight per day to feel well. That probably means that I’ll need to take vacations in sunny places during the winter. I’ll have to set aside a certain budget for that and I need to plan my vacations appropriately.

New places

I think I need to discover new places on a more regular basis. I think it might be enough to check out some places in Germany that I havent been to yet, but jumping on a plane, crashing in an hotel or Airbnb and getting a rental bike is something I should do more often.


Maybe were just not meant for each other. Whenever I leave Germany, my mood brightens rather quickly. The destination almost doesnt matter. Maybe its time to consider living somewhere else. Ive had this on my mind since 2016 already, so I guess its time to accept that theres this part of me that just doesnt belong here.


Just going on a spontaneous date with someone who seems to have an interesting personality is pretty valuable. I usually dont expect anything when going out on a date (even when we’re both clear on wanting to hook up before we even meet - chemistry is important) but just getting to know someone new is pretty rewarding. I enjoy getting insights to how people think and what they care about. I wasnt always like that and Im enjoying that new side of me.


Wait, what? Thats what I wouldve said a couple of months ago. But yeah, if I feel well, I want to spoil myself with something. It doesnt have to be expensive, so Im not talking about going to the next big mall and throwing away a couple of hundred euros. I dont have a family, I dont have a car, I dont have any debt - its ok to spend a bit of money sometimes. I also think its better than the other way around: Spending money when Im not feeling well. I usually try to avoid that, because new stuff alone doesnt make you happy. Its like drinking or doing drugs: Get your fix when youre feeling well already.


While Im pretty confident that I’ll never get to a point where I wont enjoy the darker areas of metal, Im also broadening my taste in music. Ive been listening to The Pretty Reckless, Lana Del Rey, Hollywood Burns, Master Boot Record and some classical music rather often lately. Some of these artists are better suited for work as well, where a certain focus is required. But just riding through the city on a bicycle and listening to Lana Del Rey is kind of enchanting and relaxing.